And now here I am, back in my very own apartment in North London, this time on my own. The last few days have really been an emotional rollercoaster with everything going on. I can't really grasp the fact that I've spent 4 months at home in Sweden. It was never meant to be this long but since circumstances changed, that's what happened. And getting so attached and comfortable at home again only made it harder to pack my bags this weekend, kiss my friends and family goodbye and leave for the airport. To go back to my own reality, in London.
London will definitely not be what it was before - not even close. I'm super excited at the same time as I'm completely terrified. It will all be fine in the end, that I'm sure of. But at this moment, it scares me. It scares me to be alone and handling it all on my own. Without W, without a lifeline. Of course, friends and family are just a call away but it's still not the same. I've lived with the same person for two whole years now, and leaving it all behind will be tough.
At the same time, I'm glad that I get the opportunity to do this by myself. I will definitely get to know myself a lot better and it gives a lot more space to grow in whatever way I feel like, with no one holding me back or waiting up for me at home. This is what makes me excited and what keeps me motivated. The fact that I get to be myself all the way, do whatever I want, whenever I want it. And that feeling, accepting to be on my own and seeing it as being free - is the thing that will be my motivation this year. What will push me to advance at university, spend time on my blog and do the things that I never got to do.
I'm so ready. And I hope you're with me.